Creating Fulfilling & Empowering Relationships with Your Masculine Partner with Michelle Keinan

Paula Shepherd Author

Michelle Keinan shares how she teaches powerful women to feel satisfied, supported and sexy in their relationships with their masculine partners.

For many generations women’s role has been to hold things together. As society has changed exponentially, how do you move past relationship patterns to create expansive and fulfilling relationships? In today’s episode, Michelle Keinan, an expert in masculine + feminine relationship dynamics shares how she teaches powerful women to feel satisfied, supported and sexy in their relationships with their masculine partners.

In this episode we chat about:

• How the journey to surrender in a relationship starts with choosing love for yourself.
• Fighting the dogma of the patriarchy to create a fulfilling relationship.
• Shifting the priority from holding things together to expansion and growth.
• Working through triggers to heal generational patterns together! 
• Renegotiating the family dynamic & creating empowered relationship models for future generations.
• Beginning the difficult journey from control to tenderness and softening whilst remaining confident, powerful and grounded.
• Understanding the masculine response.
• Asking for what you want to avoid frustration and resentment
• Creating a relationship vision.

And so much more!

Connect with Michelle: 

www.michellekeinan.com

www.facebook.com/groups/satisfiedwivesclub

www.instagram.com/michellekeinan

https://www.linkedin.com/in/satisfiedwife/

Timestamps:

(02:05) What inspired Michelle to start her business as a relationship coach.

(04:40) The journey to surrender and choosing love for yourself.

(06:35) Stepping away from the dogma of the patriarchy to create a fulfilling relationship.

(10:11) Shifting the priority from holding things together to expansion and growth.

(11:59) How becoming comfortable creates triggers in relationships and how to heal through it together. 

(14:38)  How renegotiating the family dynamic is an opportunity to create empowered relationships and model healthy relationships for future generations.

(18:15) How all patterns are learned and modelled from previous generations who had different freedoms, different laws, different societal expectations. Creating the paradigm shift to feeling good. 

(20:55) How to begin the difficult journey from control to tenderness and softening whilst remaining confident, powerful and grounded.

(23:47) Beginning to disengage in “easy” ways to begin to surrender and understanding the masculine response.

(26:12) How using your voice and asking for what you want helps you to avoid frustration and resentment. Beginning to process the rage and animosity before it poisons a relationship. 

(27:57) The very first (and best) step on the journey to a fulfilled relationship, creating a relationship vision.

(29:25) Why getting into an expansive space in your relationship can feel traumatic.

(31:12) Michelle’s client’s biggest win of becoming millionaires from their relationship work!

(34:20) Michelle’s top tip to feel closer in your relationship right now, today.

(35:26) Where to connect with Michelle. 

Transcript:

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

women, relationship, work, husband, partner, realising, people, men, feel, pandemic, pattern, clients, home, create, life, taught, learning, fight, part, compromise

SPEAKERS

Michelle Keinan, Paula Shepherd

Paula Shepherd  00:01

Hi, I'm Paula Shepherd, I went to college to get a good job and make a lot of money. Back then, no one talked about doing what you love. And while I successfully climbed the corporate ladder, I felt like there was something missing. So I left the seemingly comfortable corporate world at 40 years old for the freedom of full time entrepreneurship. Today, I get to help ambitious women go from entrepreneur to confident CEO of their lives and businesses. I created this podcast to share what I've learned with you to make your journey just a little easier, and to connect you with other incredible business owners who took a chance on themselves and who they are becoming. So whether you're just getting started, are all in for just want to hear a friendly voice. Come on in and sit with us. Now, let's dive in. Welcome to another episode of The confidence sessions. I am thrilled today to have with us Michelle Keenan, she is a relationship success coach for powerful women who want to feel supported, satisfied and sexy in their relationships with their masculine partners. So Michelle, welcome to the show. 

Michelle Keinan  01:23

Thanks, Paul. I'm so psyched to talk to you today. 

Paula Shepherd  01:27

So one of the major things that I love about you is your authenticity, that just the way you show up online, you have this personality that's just infectious, absolutely infectious. And I know a lot of people that see that online are thinking well, of course, of course she must have this amazing relationship with her partner. And and so I wonder what inspired you to start your business? Was there something happening in your relationship that made you go hmm, I wonder if other people are dealing with this too?

Michelle Keinan  02:04

Well, thank you for saying that. I'm going to turn to every time I need a little cheerleading a little boost for myself. Um, so So yeah, it's kind of a two fold answer for that. My I've been doing healing work and empowerment work for all humans for the better part of a decade. But I really honed in on relationship coaching, actually, when the pandemic was, was getting underway, and my husband is from another country and things were escalating, you know, outside of the US at a quicker rate. And what we started to see in the news is the crazy skyrocketing of divorce rates in other countries. And this real moment where suddenly we're all stuck at home with our partners and all of the busyness and all of the outside obligations that kept us from like, really being with what's true in our Dynamics, all that stuff we've been able to to avoid now we're like looking at our men and being like, oh my god, I have to survive the apocalypse with you like, like, Who did I pick? And did I make the right choice and sort of like all of our I hope I can curse, all of our collective shit came up. And me and my husband have been co founders and CO parents and CO many things like, we've been having an intense partnership for many, many years before the pandemic and we realised that we had something to teach and to give other couples that were suddenly with their man all the time. And like, what do they do about that? So that's from like, a general perspective. But my story is that I basically used to be an incredible bitch. And you'll ask my wife, she first met me like what he thought of me, he's like, Oh, she was the biggest bitch I ever met, and my journey into tenderness and removing all the walls and the blocks to love that I put up around around my heart, from all the stuff that I entered in my life so that I could have the relationship that I really wanted to have with my husband. 

Paula Shepherd  04:17

So let's just break like through this whole thing that I'm thinking right now in my head that other people probably are to this you're not talking about how to be submissive to your, for your man, you're talking about learning more about yourself and integrating yourself into this relationship to create a really beautiful flow and partnership. Is that correct? 

Michelle Keinan  04:39

Yeah, I don't use the word submission unless that's somebody's interest or kink or what turns them on like I don't, but basically, I don't have a problem with what anyone else wants to do or be or experience in their relationship. I don't have a right way to relationship. I choose the word surrender is much more impactful and turn on kind of word for me. I think one of the things that surprisingly, I've encountered especially because I don't I don't have a Christian background I'm Jewish is the a lot of the uproar that came from, you know, having a quote unquote wife school and submission and stuff that a lot of people have been pressured by from that, like any religious experiences, I don't come from that angle at all. But how can we surrender to love? And the motto, my personal life lesson in my relationship? is would I rather be in love? Or be right? And learning how to choose love for myself over and over?

Paula Shepherd  05:39

Oh, my gosh, yeah. Like, would you rather be in love? Or would you rather be right? And and I don't know what your background is, you know, from your history in any trauma and that kind of thing. But I can relate to being the strong person, the one that was even perceived as the bitch and then maybe embodied some of that, right? The person that had to be strong all of the time against all odds. And so this perception of yes, you have to be you want to be right, you have to be right, you have to prove that you're right, you have to prove that you're strong, you have to do all these things. And then what we start to do is make all of these other people, our enemy, which is kind of leads me into this next topic that you mentioned previously, before recording, about men not being our enemy, especially with a focus on the patriarchy. So I'd love for you to tell us a little bit about your thought process and what you feel strongly about there.

Michelle Keinan  06:35

Yeah, I think to even narrow it down a little more, it's, it would be that your man isn't the enemy. You know, I think a lot of the conversation that's out there is about men and about the patriarchy and about rightly so like a lot of systems that don't work for us that weren't built to support working women or women that don't only want to be moms or stay at home. And then we bring all of that dogma and learning as empowered women into our homes and treat our partner as if he doesn't want us to be successful, and he doesn't care, he doesn't want to understand or he doesn't want to prioritise our needs. And that's part of the dynamic that we co create with our partner. And it's not that it's untrue. Like, if we're looking for a role, we'll always find examples of that. And at the same time, if you're, if you're gonna want to change your relationship, I teach something called 100 100 relationships, I don't believe in compromise, which is actually something that my husband taught me and one of our very first fights which blew my mind at the time, he was just like, I will never compromise. And I was just like, oh, who did I pick, this is never gonna work, you have to compromise. But what he taught me what I learned over time is that, you know, this practice of compromising means that nobody's ever fully happy, we always have to find a 5050 place where, you know, I don't always get all my needs met, and you don't always get your needs met. And that's how we keep things moving forward. But that doesn't feel good to me. And for a lot of powerful women. That's not what we want either. We don't want to keep acquiescing and saying no to the things that we really want and putting our desires on the back burner. So how do we start stepping up into our 100 self, and then from that place, engaging with our partner and inspiring or challenging him to step up in his 100 self place and be co creative together from that kind of place instead of trying to nitpick or, or, you know, widdle things down so that, you know, it's this real generational shift? I think, for many of us to go from a survival place, how do we keep it together? You know, how do we say celebrate however many years we've been together, and instead of making the number of years or the length of time, the milestone, it's what's the quality of life that we can build together? And how can we feel our best together? And it's like, it's... 

Paula Shepherd  09:02

You just reminded me of like, the Valentine's Day thing, you know, it's like I've always said, I want you to love me every single day, not just on this one day a year that Hallmark says you have to so but this whole whole idea of not compromising also brings up you also, when no one is happy. You're also not fully being yourself, because you you can't express yourself fully. What about women that are coming to you or that are in your world who have relationships that they want to work on where they want, both themselves and their partner to be happy, but they feel like if they were to follow this process, that they would lose their partner.

Michelle Keinan  09:49

That's interesting. I feel like most of the women that are just like he's either gonna change or this is not gonna work at all. But no But but for those women that are afraid to lose their partner? Well, you know, that's, again, it's that that shift between, you know, is the priority on key holding things together. And is that the, where you want to place your attention and how you want to use your energy of holding things together, are you willing to start to shift that attention and recalibrate to a place of expansion and growth, but also understanding that part of that shift means that some things will fall apart, some things do need to unwind or reconstruct themselves. And so part of that process can look like things might be falling apart. But But I mean, especially when you have support from from someone on the outside that's been through this with hundreds of women realise that that process, or that part of the process is in service to it being rebuilt in the way that that you both want it to be. And that's really why I work exclusively with women, we have so much power within us to change and to change in a way that feels good, right? I'm not I'm not teaching women that here, this is like something else that you have to do and add to your to do list on top of all the other stuff that you already have to do. Because it's really a recalibration to, how do you get back to your return on? How do you get back to what feels the most delicious for you the most exciting the most inspirational from you. Because when you start to make that energetic shift, what happens is that it actually attracts your man back to you. And it attracts a new kind of behaviour and attention and inspires him to start showing up in a way that a lot of my clients, would they describe it as it's like, oh, what it was like when we first got together or when it was still like the honeymoon phase?

Paula Shepherd  11:44

Mm hmm. Do you think that's because people start to feel comfortable, like they get into that comfortable phase, and they're not just trying to, like, get through the day, they're not, they're not really living?

Michelle Keinan  11:59

It could be that, you know, I would say that what starts to happen is that, you know, as we continue to go on in relationship, that we as we become more comfortable, we start to trigger each other more and more, we start to be less careful in that kind of way. But what we've been taught as a society is that being triggered is bad, or, you know, trigger warnings, you're not supposed to be triggered, or that like, half the spectrum of our emotional quality is bad, like sadness, anger, fear, like, we should never feel those things. If you're in that place, like something's really wrong, you know, but part of what I teach about relationship is that your partner is there to help you heal, and him triggering you is part of that healing process. And when you get triggered when things start to pop up, that are not what you want, and that don't feel good for you, your opportunity as well as your responsibility is to start showing up from the place that as the woman that you want to be, instead of just retracting or retreating into those old patterns of fight or flight, fawning, play dead, whatever you learned in your past as a traumatic response. So in that regard, you know, I mean, and I have to caveat here, we didn't talk about this from the beginning, I'm not talking about abusers, or addicts, I'm not talking about those kinds of relationships, that's definitely something else a different kind of expertise and attention needed. But if you're with a good man, a loving man, a man that you know, cares about you, but you're just like, why is he an idiot? Or why is he a dope? Or why doesn't he XY and Z? Or why do I always have to be the one? Like, if those are the questions that are coming up? It's an opportunity for you because you're part of that dynamic, because you're agreeing to that, and you're buying into it as much as he's perpetuating it, perpetuating it as well.

Paula Shepherd  13:53

Yeah, that concept of we teach people how to treat us, essentially. And we've talked about this in terms of the pandemic, too, a little bit about, you know, women feeling like they're not being supported right now, in general, you know, you know, both was society, carrying the, you know, for a lot of people it is the the mental load, especially women who are transitioning from like myself working from corporate into the home, and then my husband works outside of the home. So there's lots of dynamics here. Do you see women coming to you feeling like I have to take on the world by myself, and that's affecting their relationship?

Michelle Keinan  14:38

Yeah, absolutely. And I made that that switch from corporate over a decade ago. So I remember, you know what that transition was like, and suddenly, especially with the pandemic, there's no boundaries anymore, like what are our working hours and which one is my office and where's my alone time and is this our home? Is this our or workplace is this like our lameness? Like what's going on here? There's a lot of that, that confusion that's going around, you know, but I would say that it's it's nothing necessarily new, I'd say that a lot of what we're seeing is just, if we really look at it, I don't know about you, Paula, for me, I was like, I do not want to be, you know, I don't want to perpetuate family dynamics, or I don't want to be like that way that my mom was, and then you're just like, Oh, damn, like, that's, that's on me. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Again. It's so unconscious, the way that we've been programmed from those family dynamics, and from what we've seen around us. So it's really an opportunity. I know that a lot of this might be a little controversial, because I know a lot of women's empowerment sites and feminist news sources are angry about the great resignation, you know, about the system failing us and us never getting what we want to need. And for, you know, there is that truth. And at the same time, you know, the tactics that are being preached are fight the system fight the system, right. But a lot of us are really tired, we don't want to fight anymore. We don't even want to be involved in a system that's not working for us. So this is like a huge opportunity to create what we want for ourselves. And I call it personal activism, because it starts in the home, especially if we have children like to be able to model this for our children, this kind of transition and how we build businesses, how we have relationships with men, there's a huge opportunity there that can you know, change the trajectory of future generations.

Paula Shepherd  16:35

Oh, my gosh, like all of this stuff is coming up for me I'm sit, if you could see my notebook, I'm like taking all these notes. Because, you know, this idea of personal activism. It stirred up for me this I also this concept of path, like the passive aggressiveness, right? That happens in our relationships with this expectation of with our children, or with people around us that they're just going to read our minds. And now, of course, I am asking women to use their voice, right. And I think if I go back to my corporate job, or before I was a business owner, I probably didn't use my voice as much because I didn't have the story. I was telling myself the story, that I couldn't do it. So was it or is it that we have to fight the system? Or is it that so many of us didn't speak up? I know, I didn't, for a really long time. And it was at the end that I was like, I'm not fighting this anymore. And then I realised, oh, wait a minute, this does start at home. Here I am. And I'm literally doing the same thing. Am I in my house? Like, my expectation is that I'll go pick up my child's socks or my husband's dirty laundry off the floor. And then I'll just expect that he'll know that he's supposed to pick that up, but I'm always the one doing it. So why would they do it? And that's a very basic example. Right? But where I'm doing something, but my expectation is that they'll actually do it themselves. But I'm not demonstrating that that's what I want them to do. And I'm not even saying that's what I want them to do. I'm just waiting until I get angry. Does that make sense? Yeah, it does.

Michelle Keinan  18:15

I mean, that's you just described a pattern right there. You know, and a lot of a lot of us are living that pattern, not realising it and not realising also that it can be changed, because a pattern is something that's learned. And all you have to do. This is like my favourite part where all my clients are like, it can't be that simple. I'm like it is it's not easy, but it's simple. It's like any pattern, if you can just change micro things in the pattern, there's no way that it can change the same like a pattern requires everything to stay the same in order for it to be perpetuated over and over again. And again, like I would ask you Paulo, to same thing I would ask any of my clients is, where did you learn how to do that? Where did you see that modelled for you. And for so many of us, we saw it from an older generation. And that generation, they had to do what they had to do. But everything was different, like the freedoms were different. The laws were different, the wait, society's expectations were different. And the tactics that needed to be used by past generations were different. Did we need all of that process to get to where we are today as women 100% And I have so much reverence and appreciation for my mom and my grandma and every woman that came before us and all of the crazy things that they had to fight through in order to allow me to live the life and us to have the freedoms that we have today. And at the same time, we're still using those tactics and that energy and we still are indoctrinated to, to fight and to push and it all irony to do it, the way the patriarchy or the way that that the men that men would do it still buy into that system. Right. So it takes this huge paradigm shift, because we're creating a new way of doing things, we're tapping into a different kind of energy and power inside of us and exploring different parts of ourselves. And a lot of times that power is about feeling good is about choosing differently in a way that honours our desire instead of what society tells us, we're supposed to want are supposed to feel are supposed to be. And it's, it's really deep, it's really deep work, it's very healing,

Paula Shepherd  20:34

The exploring different parts of ourselves, I find that's really difficult for so many women that I come in contact with, because they don't know who they are beyond the hats that they wear. When you're initially working with women, do you find that to be a difficult place for them to begin?

Michelle Keinan  20:55

I'd say that for most of the women that I'm working with, the reason that it's difficult is because like myself, I've put up, we've put up so many walls of protection around ourselves, one of those being the way that we try to control everything, or stay on top of everything or keep everything moving forward. Because that's what makes us feel like we have grounding or confidence or that everything's gonna be okay. And And, and that never works. Because a you can't control your partner and be, even if he did start doing all the things that you wanted him to do, you wouldn't be happy anyway, because you'd still be the one that's pulling the strings or running the show. And that's not really what what we want. We do enough of that, in so many facets of our lives, when it comes to our homes and our relationships that we're building with our partners. So many of the women that I work with want a very different kind of experience, but they're not letting themselves have it just as much as they're believing their husbands aren't letting them have.

Paula Shepherd  22:48

And that word surrender just came back to me, as you were saying all of that, you know, one of the prime examples I'll use myself as an example here is, you know, saying, I don't want to plan everything, and then someone in my household, my husband, saying, Well, what do you want for dinner? I mean, you know, I'm gonna make X, Y, and Z and me going, I don't really want to have that for dinner. But I still want you to, I still want you to do the thing. I say you took you took control. This is literally the most basic example I can think of that people can probably relate to, or where do you want to go have dinner tonight, and I'm like, I don't know, you pick and they'll say, Chinese. And I'm like, I don't want Chinese. You know, and I make it so difficult. So it's like, I want you to do this thing. But I'm not willing to allow you to do the thing without me applying conditions to it, which which is still an element of control. And that idea of letting go of it and just enjoying the ride. And that's I love that word surrender. I love it. 

Michelle Keinan  23:47

Well, we  love the word. But sometimes the experience itself is like, you know, kind of unhooking something. But yeah, I mean, it's, you're saying it's a basic example. But it's a great example. Because as we do one thing, we do so many different things. And that's why I say can be so simple as like picking a quote unquote, easy thing like that, and starting to disengage from that pattern there and getting a result and you know, getting a hit of like, a feeling good and that this is working, and then expanding into maybe more challenging or like bigger issues, but also just, you know, there's so much about learning about ourselves in the work that that I do. But there's a lot about understanding men. And another thing that we've been taught is that we're all equal. We're all the same, you know, that says that men are just hairy versions of women. And that's not always necessarily true. And so in the example that you just gave your, you know, when you're doing that when you're giving that kind of feedback to your partner, you're teaching him not to show up. You're teaching him that if he's going to put himself out there and try He's gonna get criticised, he's gonna get dumped. And most men don't want to feel that by their partner. So they just won't put themselves in those situations. And then we interpret it as he doesn't care. He doesn't try, he doesn't pay attention, not realising that we're part of the reason that he's not showing up the way we want him to.

Paula Shepherd  25:19

Or to use your damn voice. Because I can just again, I'm going to sort of throw myself into this conversation. You know, just simple little things like making the bed every day. For me, it was, Why do I have to do this every day, I'm doing this and this and this in the morning and trying to get the kids out the door. And, you know, you could at least make the bed. And he's like, all you have to do is ask me, would you mind making the bed in the mornings? I mean, it was that easy. But learning how to advocate for ourselves. Because we do get wrapped up in I see exactly what you're saying we get wrapped up in the same old, same old living our day. It's like, like Groundhog's Day, where we're living our day on repeat. And we wake up hoping for this different thing to happen. But we haven't changed that one thing, that one little micro thing that will actually lead the day in a whole different trajectory. I absolutely love that. So paying attention to your patterns.

Michelle Keinan  26:11

Yeah. And I mean, there's, there's so many threads that I want to say, oh, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off can do mine. If I just add a little bit more to that.

Paula Shepherd  26:17

Go move forward. Yeah, absolutely. Okay.

Michelle Keinan  26:21

So a couple pieces of that, right. Is that for the women out there that are like, Why do I have to ask why do I have to you don't have to write but if you want something if you would like the bed to be made, then yeah, the the onus is on you to ask. But most women, you know, it's not just about asking the question or using the boys. The issue is that you've gotten to yourself to a point of frustration or resentment like this high level of you know, we're asking is a burden where you've backed yourself into this corner of feeling like it's not fair. And that for anyone that's listening is a bit of a danger zone. And that's a real place to work and shift into what do I really want? And at the same time, how do I start taking care of this anger processing this, this rage inside of me this frustration inside of me this this animosity that because that can slowly poison a relationship over time. And it is our own responsibility, our feelings, our responsibility, even if somebody else is triggering them, they're living inside of us. So it's important for us to take care of that within ourselves.

Paula Shepherd  27:33

 I couldn't agree more that whole Why do you? Why do I have to ask or? I shouldn't have to ask you this. I know, I've heard so many women in conversations that I've had, just like, you know, I'm barely certain the words have come from my lips to you know, like, I shouldn't have to ask you this, you should just know, you should just know this. But it is not true. No one knows the feelings that are living inside of us if we're not vocalising them, or if we're not even dealing with them. So okay, so I'm, let's say, I'm a client, and I come to you, what is the first step you would take me through?

Michelle Keinan  28:08

  Well, the very first step that I take all my clients to is the best one, which is going from what you don't want to what you do want, because so many of my clients start working with me because they're stuck in a life and in a relationship that's full of shit that they hate. And all day long, they're dealing with things that don't make them happy that don't turn them on that don't leave them inspired, fulfilled. So all of their relationship is about lack or disappointment or dissatisfaction, which is legit, that's where they are. That's what they're tuned to in their everyday lives. So the first thing that we do is we create a relationship vision, or depending on the length of process, it could be a life vision, also, which is about everything that you do want, like all of your wildest, craziest, like all this stuff, basically, that you'd be like, my husband would never do that. He's not that kind of guy. It'll never happen, all of that stuff. That's what we need to get out there first, so that we can start to create a new North Star, a new Guiding Light, that starts the path for my clients to start to live it. 

Paula Shepherd  29:15

Amazing. And so is that does that take a lot of effort on their part, obviously creating the list, there's this vision that they begin to create the witch's like has been living inside of them, and they're finally letting it out. But do you find that that is even though it's the most rewarding that it's the hardest piece?

Michelle Keinan  29:35

It really depends on the client. You know, some women come from backgrounds or to have been taught that there's no point in dreaming that they shouldn't dream they're not going to get it. They've been so long in survival mode that getting into that creative space or that expansive space can feel like a retraumatization can feel scary again. So depending On the client that I'm working with, there might be a more gentle process of like, okay, what do we need to unpack here? Or what kind of safe space do we start to create for you, so that you can open your mind and your energy to that kind of possibility? But some women are like, No, this isn't I'm ready, I know exactly what I want. Like, like, here's, I already wrote the list here is and for those women, awesome. Now, we need to take a look at all of the ways that you are showing up, not in integrity, that all of the ways that you're like you say that you want this. So why are you doing XY and Z? And what are some new behaviours, new thoughts, new ways of being that we can start to introduce into your attention into your nervous system into your day to day that will help you to evolve into the woman that has that life that that you deeply desire?

Paula Shepherd  30:58

Let's leap past all of the steps. So we start with you, you're making the list. And now they've gone through all of this work with you? What are some of the most amazing results and transformations that you've seen? Women have, as a result work with you?

Michelle Keinan  31:15

Oh, my God, this is so fun, Paul, I think. So I guess it's easy to talk about numbers and like financial kind of stuff. But I also get a lot of messages from the husbands and the partner, the male partners of my clients, like thank you letters. So my favourite one came from one of my clients, husbands who because of the work that I did with her, he was able to what he said is like step up into his king energy and sell his business for multiple billions of dollars. So my clients became millionaires from the work that I did with her because I took them out of this pattern of nagging and bickering and like arguing over that, you know, day to day sort of survival, like, you know, the, the the nitty gritty of life kind of stuff, so that they both could really focus on on on being their, their 100 self, and he really had the space and the trust from her. And they, they really, really redevelop their partnerships so that he could be out in the world and be that success. But also, at the same time, spend more time with his family be the husband that she needed him to be, and also the father so that she could grow her business simultaneously as well. So that's one of my very favourite stories.

Paula Shepherd  32:37

Oh, my God, that's so cool. And I but I love the fact that you, you had the husband, send you a thank you letter. Do it. Okay, let me read let me rephrase that he sent it to you, he thought so much of what had happened as a result of your work with his wife that he felt compelled to write you a thank you letter. That is, my mind is blown right now.

Michelle Keinan  33:04

Well, I just you know, it goes back to this, this misbelief this misconception that men don't want to be great for us. And it's not true, like your man part of his mission, part of his desire, like he wants to be your hero, he wants you to be greeting him every day, like, feeling proud of him feeling excited about him, like feeling turned on by him, and he wants to do things that that make you feel that way. Like he wants to be in that symbiosis with you as his partner and most of us just, we don't realise that you know, we got this this other message about quote unquote, men, you know, but let's talk about your man and what he wants for you what he wants to give to you what he wants to be for you and let's make that happen.

Paula Shepherd  33:50

So, as we're kind of wrapping up here, because I could just talk to you about this forever because I've seen so many people in this pandemic have relationships that have lasted 2025 years and just crumble just just completely and and some of them had no idea it was even coming. You know, some women were like, I had no idea this was coming. I didn't know he was gonna leave me. What would you what's one kind of tip that you would give women right now who are not feeling fulfilled in their relationship to do today? To feel a little closer?

Michelle Keinan  34:30

Well, it depends if you're feeling generous or not. If you're if you're not feeling generous, then what you have to do is go inside of yourself and do something for yourself that makes you feel the way that you wish your husband would make you feel like point playing that is an absolute necessity. But if you are feeling generous, if you are feeling like you know what can I do to bring him closer to me because I know that is its own pandemic. Is that a lot of relationships there feels like a separation between the two people are like a distance or you're like sitting on the sofa next to each other, but you might as well be worlds apart is how can you find something that your partner did that day or that week and celebrate him for it and start to see all of the things, even if they're tiny things, but all of the things that he is doing to show up and to be there for you and to start celebrating him for that.

Paula Shepherd  35:27

Amazing, amazing. So Michelle, where is the very best place for people to connect with you?

Michelle Keinan  35:35

Well, the most fun spot is inside of my awesome Facebook group. It's called goddess, why five successful relationships for powerful females that's on Facebook. But you can search for satisfied wife on telegram on Instagram On Facebook, and you can find me there. And you can connect with me or you can be part of my legendary goddess wife school, which you can find at goddess wife. school.com.

Paula Shepherd  36:03

Amazing. So I will make sure that I link everything so that you can connect with Michelle, this will all be in the show notes. Michelle, I am really, really grateful that we were able to connect and have this conversation, to help introduce people to this concept of surrendering and not compromising. So thank you so much for being here and sharing your wisdom with us today.

Michelle Keinan  36:27

Thank you so much, Paul. I'm here for every woman that wants to feel like she can have it all with the man that's by her side.

Paula Shepherd  36:35

Amazing, amazing. Reach out to Michelle, and I'll be back with a new episode next week. Thank you for listening to this episode of The confidence session. I know there are hundreds of 1000s of podcasts. And I'm so grateful that you chose to spend your time today with me. Head on over to be fearless with paula.com forward slash podcast to check out the show notes from today's episode and grab links to all the amazing goodies mentioned today. Also, if you love this episode, as much as I love making it, make sure you don't miss any future ones by hitting the subscribe button right now. See you next time.

Categories: Podcast, Relationships