Owning Your Power as a Visionary Leader & Living an Exquisite Life with Dr. Dorothy Martin-Neville

Paula Shepherd Author

Are you a visionary leader but you just haven’t realized yet?! Dr. Dorothy shares how to recognize your power as a leader and visionary.

Are you a visionary leader but you just haven’t realized yet?! In this episode Dr Dorothy, psychotherapist and pioneer coach for women in transition, shares how so many women have not yet recognized their power as a leader and a visionary! She shares her work with women who are willing to do something different and live a life of adventure, not just survive they life they have. Dr. Dorothy shares how to take pragmatic risks in the direction of your dreams so you too can fly! She shares how dreams are not built of foolish risks, or extravagant investments, but on being prepared for your next steps and refusing to stay stuck.

In this episode we chat about:

Dorothy’s life story from an orphanage to multiple six figure business owner and non-profit.

How to embrace where life is going as part of the adventure.

Trust in your unique knowing.

How to recognize you too are a pioneer and a visionary.

And so much more!

Dr. Dorothy is “America’s Dream Doctor” and a foremost expert on living the life of your dreams. That’s because Dr. Dorothy lives what she teaches, drawing on her own amazing life story; as a child from an orphanage, later raised in the housing projects of South Boston, Dr. Dorothy learned early she needed to take responsibility and leadership of her own journey and her dreams if her life was going to unfold at all to her liking. Finding her only way out of the projects, she became – a Catholic nun, an international airline stewardess, a wife, mother, psychotherapist, graduate teacher, clinical instructor at a medical school, a pioneer in the field of integrative health, founder of 4 companies, author, speaker, and finally strategic partner to dreamers and leaders while supporting them in going to the next level.

Connect with Dorothy here:

https://www.askdrdorothy.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dorothymartinneville

Find out more about her 10 month program
https://dorothymartinneville.simplero.com/page/254909

Download Dorothy’s Free E Book: Owning your Leadership
https://dorothymartinneville.simplero.com/page/260948

Timestamps:

(02:16) Dorothy shares her story from an orphanage, through the projects in South Boston, being a Catholic nun, and her journey to psychotherapy and guiding women through transitions.

(04:30) How certain personalities can develop certain disorders. It’s necessary to trust your knowing.

(06:20) Recognizing your abilities to be a pioneer, being a visionary and owning your power.

(12:35) How to move through struggles, commitments and real life scenarios to chase your dreams. Dorothy’s example of leaving her marriage and what she needed to go to the next level.

(18:48) How women are conditioned to think of other commitments before their own growth and journey.

(22:00) Realizing you’re unhappy even at 6 figures in business and rediscovering who you are.

(29:30) It’s not about the money. Reframing the stories you’re telling yourself, 31:00

(34:27) Dorothy’s 10 month group program is only open for 12 women.

Transcript:

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

programme, visionary, business, women, life, left, money, bold, risk, years, corporate, toxic relationship, client, moved, private practice, spend, people, thought, vision

SPEAKERS

Dr. Dorothy, Paula Shepherd

Paula Shepherd 00:01

Hi, I'm Paula Shepherd, I went to college to get a good job and make a lot of money. Back then, no one talked about doing what you love. And while I successfully climbed the corporate ladder, I felt like there was something missing. So I left the seemingly comfortable corporate world at 40 years old for the freedom of full time entrepreneurship. Today, I get to help ambitious women go from entrepreneur to competent CEO of their lives and businesses. I created this podcast to share what I've learned with you to make your journey just a little easier, and to connect you with other incredible business owners who took a chance on themselves and who they are becoming. So whether you're just getting started, are all in or just when you hear friendly voice. Come on in and sit with us. Now, let's dive in. Welcome, everyone, to another episode of the competence sessions. You are in for the biggest treat today, because I have with me, my colleague, Dr. Dorothy Martin, Neville. Now, I know that you think that you've met the most amazing business people on this show. But she is taking it up a notch because her life experience is out of this world. In fact, not only does she have the life experience, but she has founded four companies. And she is absolutely the go to expert when it comes to women transitioning in their life and in their business. So without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Dr. Dorothy, thank you for being here.

Dr. Dorothy 01:52

us. So welcome. It's fun to get started.

Paula Shepherd 01:55

I am just thrilled. So your story starts. where

Dr. Dorothy 02:02

it starts, like everybody's everybody has a story. I just happened to have my end. But everybody's got a story. It's it's a very quick one, because a really important part is what's going on today. I started in actually an orphanage, I was raised in an orphanage later adopted and raised in the housing projects of South Boston. And my way out was to become a Catholic nun. So I was a Catholic nun for number of years, left, moved to Manhattan, became an international airline stewardess and flew over a million miles while I was living down by the village, and then out in Queens, and flushing, New York. So it was a great stat, it was a great start to a life that's been filled with transition, which is why I really love working with women in transition, it's been a good part of my life. And so eventually left religious life left the airlines, stayed home for a few years and married and had two children, who was divorced after 15 years with two little ones, and went back knew I was going to need to support the kids. So I went back to college and got a master's in psychotherapy and opened up a private practice. And you know, one of the things I stress is we never know where our life is gonna go. The great part of the journey is being able to assess where you are, always look at where do you want to go next? What do you want that to look like, and be willing to take the risks and do the personal growth needed to live that dream. Because the person here can't live that dream, you need to grow into the woman who is going to make that dream fly. And so it's always been a process of personal and professional transformation, which to me is fun. You know, life is not meant to be survived. It's meant to be an adventure, an adventure that you just really jump in. So I did, I opened up a private practice because I was going to need to support my two little ones. And I was terrified. But I went out and spoke in front of every business group, every book club, every church, every synagogue, Every Woman's Club, everybody that would let me in the door. I had never spoken in public before. And yet, you know, here I am going around as if I'm the queen of the mountain. And didn't know within three months, I was seeing 42 patients a week and had a six month waiting list that lasted almost 17 years where I left the country. And I moved to the Caribbean for 10 years. So I had a practice in the midst of the practice, started noticing because I'm curious and I think most of us are, if we allow ourselves to be about three years into my private practice seeing all of these people I started to notice that people with certain personalities, were developing particular disorders. This personality was developing fibromyalgia. This personality was developing breast cancer, this personality, developing prostate cancer, and so forth. And when I would mention it, friends, they'd say it's all coincidental. Once you can predict something, we've left the world of coincidence and we've moved into science. And which brings me to another point here that trust your knowing it is irrelevant when you are a pioneer or visionary women leader. And that was a woman I love to work with. If you're a visionary women leader, nobody's going to know your idea. It hasn't got to be validated, or it'll be what everybody else is thinking. If you're a visionary, and you're a pioneer, you're out ahead of the crowd. So others are going to be questioning you, they're going to be questioning your sanity, they're going to be questioning your skill set. But those who are also visionaries, are going to resonate with you and know that what ever that is, however outrageous that is, there's an ounce of truth to that. But instinctively, they know you've got it. So taking that risk, depending on the audience you want, if you want to work as I do with bold, visionary women leaders, you best be a bold, visionary women leader, or you're working with the wrong audience. You don't work with those who will take it easy, be calm, don't get nervous.

Paula Shepherd 05:52

In you know that you're describing me because we've already had a conversation that I am basically the poster child, for your ideal client. I mean, all of my branding is all about being bold. And even when you're bold. I think that there's still times where you second guess yourself. So how would women that are listening to you right now? How would they know that they qualify as a bold visionary, I don't know that I really understood that. That's what I was, before I became an entrepreneur. It's I

Dr. Dorothy 06:21

would say to you, as a problem most women have, sadly, I worked with a woman who was a visionary did amazing things at Mayo Clinic, amazing programmes and development and health care as a head of division, and then became the head of a division of another major hospital in the United States, and never saw herself as a visionary. And she was creating a whole new approach to healthcare. And we worked together for four years, she kept reappearing, I didn't change just your business, I changed your life, I changed your relationship with your kids or husband, and extended family members. And she kept saying, I don't know what you do. But I want more of it. Let's keep going. And the fact is, by the time she was able to see that she was a visionary leader and own it, not intellectually, but own it. So that there was this transformation that takes place. And to me, an effective coach is doing transformation. If they're just educating you, let's take a look at that. All right, effective coaching is transformational. And she finally said, My God, I'm, I'm a visionary, I say welcome to Reality. I've been trying to tell you that for a long time. Without got 10s of millions of dollars, she and a friend and started their own company. And she is thriving, she left something she thought she was supposed to do. But was doing it logically, I was doing it pragmatically and thought, therefore, because I'm taking logical pragmatic steps, I must be a visionary. I'm a logical, practical person. Nobody said visionaries are space cadets here. visionaries are creative and thought leaders. But to really be an visionary leader, you best be pragmatic, you best know how to concretize your vision, you best know how to make it happen, and how to grow to become the person who can live that vision who can create that vision. Because in spite of yourself, if you look back and say, I don't know, if I'm a visionary leader, look back at your life. Have you been ahead of the crowd a number of times? Have you looked at things in a way most of your friends didn't? Have you been somebody where most people say, Oh, my God, I don't know how you got there. But I'm really impressed. If that's who you are. And that's what people say, I could never do what you do. What are you doing? You know, I don't understand it. Please explain because I've been reading about this. It's because you're ahead of the pack. And it is owning it that makes it transformational for you. So if you are somebody who has a great idea, you don't know anybody who has done it, or you don't know anybody who's done it with the twist that you're bringing to it. Right? That's your uniqueness. That's your visionary ability. And once you were somebody who's free to have a vision and follow it, you now have the skill to support others who have a vision and want to follow it. You know, we can't take our clients where we haven't gone. So if we're going to work with other visionary women leaders, we best have followed our vision and I did creating for companies. If you're going to call somebody to be bold, you best have had the audacity to be bold yourself. Because in doing so they can look and see hmm, she tends not to play it safe all the time. You can't be bold and play it safe all the time. I don't mean ridiculous risk. You will never see me jumping out of an aeroplane or jumping over a bridge with a rope around my ankles. That is not I'm good risks. I do my thing. have big files kinds of things are fantastic. God bless them, send me the pictures after so that I know you landed safely. Let me know. I'm not doing it. My risks are, gee, I was thinking of making 50,000 a year. But I pushed I think it would have 500,000 a year, then I pushed it. And I want to go to seven figures that I want to go to eight figures? What is audacious for you? And are you willing to follow audacious and perhaps that's the simplest way of saying, a visionary woman is somebody who has the audacity to truly jump in and follow the dream that she knows is hers, not for the rest of her life necessarily. Because once you reach that dream, you're going to discover that dream was perfect for this woman. But now that you follow that dream, the dream for this woman is going to be over there. So keep following it, you never know where it's going to take you

Paula Shepherd 10:56

know, one of the hardest things for me the way that you just described, because the person that I was two and a half years ago, two years ago when I was in corporate leadership is not the same person that I am today. And it was very difficult for me personally, to see myself not just as a bold, visionary leader, but to see myself as a thought leader or somebody willing to take a risk. And I think that there are probably a lot of people listening to this that are either in the beginning stages of a business, or maybe they're just listening, and they're considering leaving a spouse a toxic relationship, a new chapter in their life. And it feels really hard and really scary to them. You've done so many things that make it I think, simple from the outside to have people say, Well, of course, it's easy for you, you must have been lucky. Or you must have had a windfall of money and support in the background in case it didn't work out for you. But that's not what my life looks like. What would be your advice to get people moving out of their comfort zone because they have this, this like fire in their belly. And they know that where they are isn't where they're meant to be. But they're just too afraid because they have children. And they don't have a savings account to leave that job. Or because they've never worked a day in their life. And they've been a stay at home mom and leaving that toxic relationship means having to start all over and having a job. What What kind of advice would you give to those people who are going yeah, okay, Dr. D, we, I hear you, but my life is not like yours. Oh, really?

Dr. Dorothy 12:35

This is you're speaking to an orphanage who was raised in the housing projects in the inner city? Yes, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. All right. Now, the reality is that when you are wanting to leave a toxic relationship, what would happen if you stayed? Alright, so if you leave, you need to be willing, perhaps to decrease your income level, you need to be willing to decrease your standard of living, if necessary. What I would say is you don't get an urge Thursday night and leave Friday morning. Think about this, what I did when I was leaving, I knew it was over. I knew it was over. But I also knew that it was quite likely in spite of the fact he was making a fair amount of money in a corporate position. I knew that however it happened, I would probably not end up well taken care of nor would the children be. So what can I do to get out, that doesn't take my children back to the projects or someplace else. I'm going back to school. So I spent two years getting a master's programme so that I could open up a private practice. And as soon as I had it, I said you have a choice. Make these major changes in your lifestyle, or I'm out. And he said, there isn't a chance you're going to tell me how to do my life. And I said, You're right. You have the right to choose your lifestyle. I have the right to choose mine. I'll be filing in the morning. And that was the end of the story. What did I need to do to be ready to go to the next level? I'm very much a visionary, but I'm also a pragmatist. What do we need to do? And when it came to somebody who is in a business, and do I stay corporate, I don't have a great savings account do I go out? What I would suggest to you is what is it you want to do when you leave corporate? What does that look like? The essence of women in transition? What is it you would do? Don't just leave and sit home and figure out then what you're going to do with your life? Where do you want to go? What do you want to do? Do you want to become an entrepreneur? Do you want to work for nonprofit? What is your thinking of job one open up a business with somebody on your own? Let's look at what do you need a certification get it while you're working at corporate? Do you need to form an LLC get it while you're working at corporate. You can do all of these things. And now you can move into part time basis, the business you want to run. And once you're making at least one half to two thirds of what you're making in your corporate position, get out. And now you have the time to invest that much more energy, that much more skill set into your new business and take off and fly. I mean, everybody's situation is different. I've had women who've had plenty of money to just to take off and start. And I've had women who've had nothing. You know, I've had women who've owned businesses, they were going to merge with somebody, two or three years, something happened. And they had to emerge within six months, filled with Tara worked with her for a year. Got an award is one of the most up and coming on female entrepreneurs in New York City, eight months after we started working together. All right. So there's amazing things that you can do, when you're willing to take a risk, not a foolish risk, but a risk, take your risk prepare for where you need to go and what you want to do and take off and fly. Playing it safe. When you have 100,000 1 million, how much do you need to have in savings to feel safe? Whatever that is, I can assure you, you have found a way to stay stuck. And when we stay stuck, we become depressed. When we become depressed, we become more self destructive. And that can be as simple as going from a glass of wine on Saturday to three glasses Monday through Friday, you know, it can be going from four pounds overweight to 40 pounds overweight, I mean, whatever that is, because everything in you knows this isn't working. And your head is trying to convince you now's not the right time. That's why I offer the programmes I do this way I do what I do. Because when it's time to make it, you know, it's time to make that change. And we can try to be logical. But think about this also. Haven't you had friends say, Oh, I can't afford to take that trip. I don't have the money. And yet you turn around and they just spent three grand on a new coach. And the trip was only 1400? Where did that money come from? What happened there, you don't have any money and yet the money came up for something you truly wanted. So part of that is how much do you truly want it? How much are you really ready to

Paula Shepherd 17:28

this is such a great topic right here. Because I personally, and I talk about this very candidly, I've made a lot of money in my business. And my this has just been two years. And I have spent a lot of money. So I reinvested in my business. But at the same time, there were definitely things that instead of making that investment in a coach, I could have taken a trip someplace. And I chose this instead. And if I were to look back at it, a lot of it was because I didn't trust myself, right. And I always needed to have this thing over here because I was afraid if I didn't, I was going to fail. And so I now looking at it, I can see your point of view of what really is the most important what's gonna get me closer to that. Is it this investment? Or is it this time away? That's going to allow me the opportunity and the headspace to get clear, to understand what I really want and to take a break so that I can grow and expand? Do you find that you have clients that struggle with the what is the practical thing to do? Versus the what really actually feels seems more practical. From your point of view?

Dr. Dorothy 18:48

What I would tell you is male clients don't have that difficulty. Ooh, it's a female client difficulty More times than not. My experience is that if something is presented to a male client, sometimes I say give me till tomorrow. And sometimes they'll say, give me an hour, I'll get back to you. And I call it says, Okay, I'm in Let's go. It's the woman client. Who is because the men see that if I do this, I can get that much further ahead, or I can much closer to my dream, the women tend to say, but I've got to take care of the kids or I've got to take care of the house or I've got to take do this over here. And I've got to do this over here. And this is going to be happening. What if this better prepare for this potential catastrophe or that potential catastrophe or whatever the case may be? And they just talk themselves out of it. Not for a moment of my saying, if you have five grand in savings, go spend $100,000 I'm working with a coach. Do not be so naive. All right. But if you find if I can cut out this expensive In that expense and minimise this expense for three months, six months, 10 months, I can now take that programme that is going to take me to the next level, then I know this is in poverty, this isn't hard times. This is I'm reallocating because this is going to support me going where I want to go. And then be certain you keep asking for what you want. Be certain you're in a programme, I don't care which one it is or who was with. If there's something particularly you want that you're not getting, you need to identify it, you need to present it and you need to get that need met, which says you need to be the leader of your own business, even if you haven't found it yet. You need to be the leader of yourself getting to the place where you can do that. Or if you're in a business, and you're making 500 or 300 250,000, and you want to go up, all right, are you willing to make the investment to get there, you can keep saving, or you can make an investment for somebody that's going to challenge you to grow challenge you to expand your vision, which is one of the things I do because I find most women, they have this vision, they go here and they think whoa, it really grew. I said, What's wrong with this? Oh my God, I don't have sweetheart, let's get started. All right, because this vision can go to this vision easily. Once you allow yourself to see it, not by tomorrow. But by the end of six months, by the end of 10 months by the end of the year, you can feel yourself on the way to that next place because you are willing to take the risk and continuously jump in and do the work. Anything is possible. I truly believe this anything is possible if you're willing to take that chance, and also to pay the price and vice versa pay the price. I mean, it's far more emotional and spiritual than it is pragmatic More times than not. You know, when I took my youngest up to my daughter just graduated from Georgetown, my youngest went to Cornell, I took him up and I dropped him off. And I sobbed the whole way home because there was about six and a half hour drive. Because I knew once they go away, mommy ceases to exist. You become mom, you know. And I knew that for my first and I was thrilled for him in so sad because I loved that stage of life. Even though there were moments I said, Thank You, Lord, I didn't know if I was gonna make it. I'm made. Senior year it makes you wonder, will I make it to graduation me. But I'm in it. But I came home and went into this huge house, I had bought the kids and myself and sat down with a glass of wine like a good Irish girl would and then just thought,

Dr. Dorothy 22:50

Where do I go on and go I think I was 40 to 43 When I went to go with the rest of my life. And I realised theoretically I was highly successful. I had a nonprofit I had to LLCs I had all kinds of businesses going an escort and I thought I'm unhappy. And I know enough to know that no matter how successful I am, one of mine has 64 positions. I had people, seven people starting this was 20 something years ago, seven working full time all starting off at 70,000. And then I had two more so I had nine doing 70,000 A year and then I had numbers 50 Something to 90 Nights. So theoretically, I hadn't made in the shade. And I realised I was unhappy and thought what do I want to do? I'm taking a risk. I gave up private practice which was well into six figures. I get my school. I kept my nonprofit. And another business didn't take a lot of time. I could take it with me do it from anywhere. And I decided I'm done before I finish the class and I picked up the phone called American Airlines said Get me a one way ticket to Anguilla. And God made a phone call called an agent said put my house on the market and then call my office tell my patients I'm leaving the country in three weeks I'm moving to a guila in the British West Indies. I left the country moved to Hungary the state there 10 years and never planning on coming back. I lost a lot of money, but created a lifestyle that brought me back brought my passion back. I remembered the woman before she married before she had children. Before she did all these businesses. I remembered the woman who was very much alive that I forgot existed. I remembered a woman over fall in love again, passionately and vibrantly. And all of the things we rediscover. When we say I'm hearing in here I know and here I need to do this. And you go into it. You change everything. Your Life Changes You change. So that when I came back 10 years later, which I had never planned to do, but it was an unbelievable honour. tunity. So when I came back, why to go to the States, the woman who left isn't the woman who came back. And that's what happens for every one of us. So what is the goal? Is it to have this amount of income? Is it to have this amount of personal freedom that you can create a business in the life that allows you to be completely who you are. And if that's what it is, have a vision of what that looks like and go for it. But always know, somewhere along the line, something could happen. That says, oh, never anticipated this right turn. But yet, here I am. In weather once I'd be swimming every single day for two hours in the Caribbean, and I'd say you're a kid from the projects. How on earth did you create this? Miracles happen every day. But they happen because we go and take the risks, and become the woman who can live that miracle. And we don't always know what it's going to look like in the final version. But who cares? If you're following your heart, you're following your passion, you want becoming alive, and you were making anything possible for where you're going to go in the future. And to me, that's what this journey is about. It isn't about I'm going to be an entrepreneur, I'm going to work in corporate, I'm going to work for nonprofit, it's about I am going to live this journey with everything I'm getting me. And sometimes it means I make seven figures. Sometimes it means I may leave that seven figure lifestyle because I wasn't happy in it. And I went to six figures. Tell me again, what a failure you are. Okay, tell me again, how it didn't work. I tell me again, how absolutely alive you are in ways you never imagined.

Dr. Dorothy 26:52

So anything is possible? Are you willing to pay the price. And the biggest price is taking a risk, to be bold, be vibrant, be passionate, to be alive, simultaneously, to sit in silence, to sit in the silence of who you are. You know, I know we're coming to an end. But one of the things I say frequently to my clients, and they'll tell you I hold their heart while I kick their ass. And they've said more than once you hold my mind feel unconditionally loved and accepted without judgement here. Boy, you kick my estimate things happen. While you're not paying me to say you poor sweet little thing. You're paying me to take you from here to there. And that's what we're going to do. And that means get off your little Deaf talent, do self pity later, we don't have time right now we've got to get this going and make it happen. But what I will say to them as you're sitting in the chair as you are in yours right now, on the far side of the room, are all the lovers you had all the schools, you've been to all the homes you've lived in. All the friendships that have come and gone in your life, your extended family, all of that is on the other side of the room. That's the life you created. Over here, is this embodied soul disembodied essence, I don't care what the word is, that sits in this chair. If you've created that life so far, why on earth do you think you can't create so much more? Those didn't happen to you by accident. They happen either because you created it, or you consented to it. So take a look. You did all that? What on earth do you want to do next? have the audacity have the boldness take the risk and go make it happen? That's truly to me what this journey is about. And it is a journey. And it's meant to be fun. We are not meant to survive it. We are meant to have a ball living it.

Paula Shepherd 28:53

What I love the most about what I love so much of what you said I'm just I'm completely enamoured right now is one it's about taking responsibility, right? Because in order to be audacious, in order to be bold, you have to be able to take responsibility without judging yourself without criticising yourself but just seeing it as a choice that you made. And how am I going to move from here. But the other piece that I really, really appreciated is that you talked about the money piece, and so many women wrapped their worth up in the amount of money in their bank account, or the designer bag that they can can or cannot buy and or that trip to Hawaii that they can't yet go to. But how many moments every single day are they missing? Because they are so wrapped up in the if I only had X amount of money, my life would look different.

Dr. Dorothy 29:52

The stories we tell ourselves in which is really what I work on mostly what are the stories you tell yourself? I was talking to a client At this meeting this afternoon around noon at 12 o'clock appointment, and one of the things we talked about was trips we've taken, you're going off into a little tangent, and I was using this with him. I remember, my kids were adolescent at the time, and I went on a business trip to Hawaii. We were uncon. Poli, and Corona, Corona, Corona, and there was a guest, that we were there. And the three of us were talking, we had so little money, but we had money to get there. And we were going off $100 dinners, we went out by this great big pool, and paid $5 for drink at happy hour. And the food that was lined up, the chicken wings, the carrots, the vegetables, all of these different foods that were put out there. For $5 drank, we had all of our dinner. And we're stuffed, and then ready to go dancing for the rest of the night. These are these are a training programme, a business training programme that we were doing. And it was so exciting. And we had a ball, we could have spent the whole time on the deck. Nobody knows. We can't go out 10 nights like everybody else has spent $150 on dinner. I've got the kids coming up, they need to track shoes I've got the other one needs to get a costume or a uniform for this. But I'm going to have a ball in Hawaii and go and how do you reframe it? How do you shift it? That you can do it? How do you want to do it as a victim? As powerless as less than? Or do you want to shine? And then think about this. The truth is not the stuff that's presented on on social media. Some of those people out there going out to dinner spending $100 A night were nervous wrecks, because they had no clue how they're going to pay that money when they got home. I wasn't willing to do that to myself. I'm not willing to spend that much more than I could. I was doing everything I loved to do. I was taking this course I could find the money for it. I could stay in this hotel. I could have a ball during some of the outings. But where did I not have to spend money and where did I need or want to spend money and became really discerning without the self judgement? You should have been more successful, you should have had a few 100,000 in the bank at that point in time. No, I shouldn't have no I shouldn't have I was sending my kids to private school. I was loving my business. I was forming businesses that I never imagined having. And it was an exquisite life. And it only got better. It only got much better. All right. But when you look at it, if the story you tell yourself is everybody else is out there. Yes. But you have no idea what their experience is, while they're showing you a certain image. I know that because they ended up coming and being my client. And then why did I spend that money? I have no idea. We were filled with laughter over here. You were over there a nervous wreck trying to make sure you gave a good impression. And we had a ball over here. What is it you're looking for? What is it that you want? into to me it is a quality of life far more than anything. It's a quality of life.

Paula Shepherd 33:26

You and thank you so much. Oh my gosh, I am just blown away by your experience, by your vulnerability by your courage. I mean, every bit of your story is I don't even want to say impressive. It just really is inspiring.

Dr. Dorothy 33:45

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Paula Shepherd 33:47

Thank you for being here. I know that you have an amazing ebook. As a gift that I'm going to be dropping in the show notes. Please connect with Dr. Dorothy. She also has a programme that is beginning here in August for it's a group programme for women that are in transition. And I hope I got that right. It is an amazing programme. As you can tell she's an incredible coach and a human being and she's going to focus on you and what you want first. So please check that out in the show notes. Connect with Dr. Dorothy any parting words for us?

Dr. Dorothy 34:21

You just said geez, I didn't even think of it to you mentioned it even that group women's group programme the trans women in transition programme. It's only open to 12 women. Now could I make more money if I open it up to 40 or 50 or 60? Perhaps but you know what, by opening up to 12 I get to do the kind of work I want to do. I get to give them the most personal, most specific care and transformational process I could give 12 in a small group, know what feeds you as the giver, but also know what feeds you as the receiver. Thank you so very much. This has been absolutely a delight.

Paula Shepherd 34:57

Thank you so much for being here. Please connect Dr. Dorothy and I will see you next week on another episode of the competence session. Thank you for listening to this episode of The confidence sessions. I know there are hundreds of 1000s of podcasts and I'm so grateful that you chose to spend your time today with me. Head on over to the courage blueprint.com forward slash podcast to check out the show notes from today's episode, and grab links to all the amazing goodies mentioned today. If you love this episode, as much as I loved making it, make sure you don't miss out on any future ones by hitting the subscribe button right now. See you next time.

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