Have you been told that you’re impatient? Stubborn? A bull in a china shop? Well, those are actually your strengths! You are a visionary!
What negative stories have you been told about yourself? That you’re impatient? Stubborn? A bull in a china shop? Well, those are actually your strengths! You are a visionary. You know what you want and you don’t want to wait for it to come to you.
In this episode we chat about:
How other people’s stories are impacting you.
Reframing the negative views of others are your positive traits!
Why it’s important to use your outside voice to set standards and boundaries.
Asking “how” rather than waiting for “when”.
Recognizing the time is now, that your voice is important, and your bold vision is necessary.
And so much more!
(01:35) Do others see you as a reckless risk taker when you see yourself as expansive?
(02:30) How other people’s stories are impacting you.
(02:50) The negative views of others are your positive traits!
(03:10) Reframing “stubborn”, “impatient” or “loud” as your purpose, as a visionary.
(04:00) Why it’s important to use your outside voice to set standards and boundaries.
(05:15) Asking “how” rather than waiting for “when”.
(07:15) Reclaiming the “negative” or shameful descriptions as your power.
(0745) Recognizing the time is now, that your voice is important, and your bold vision is necessary.
(08:10) Learning how to flip the switch in all areas of life - creating awareness.
(09:35) Now is the time to recognize your strengths, to find a simpler way, to build your business around your life. Now is the time to see yourself as the bold leader, to use your voice and create the social change you long for.
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Paula Shepherd 00:01
Hi, I'm Paula Shepherd, I went to college to get a good job and make a lot of money. Back then, no one talked about doing what you love. And while I successfully climbed the corporate ladder, I felt like there was something missing. So I left the seemingly comfortable corporate world at 40 years old for the freedom of full time entrepreneurship. Today, I get to help ambitious women go from entrepreneur to confident CEO of their lives and businesses. I created this podcast to share what I've learned with you to make your journey just a little easier, and to connect you with other incredible business owners who took a chance on themselves and who they are becoming. So whether you're just getting started, are all in for just want to hear a friendly voice. Come on in and sit with us. Now, let's dive in.
Paula Shepherd 01:02
Hey, everyone, welcome back to the confidence sessions. Last week, we were talking about the difference between hard work and quality effort. And that really led me to think about how I've never really waited for the perfect time to do something. In fact, there's always been someone around me questioning whether or not the risk would be worth it. Or if I should even take the risk at all. And there's, they're probably people in your life like this to where they are.
Paula Shepherd 01:40
They see you in a certain way, right? They, they see you as a risk taker, or they see you and risk taker not being in a good way, risk taker, meaning, Wow, you are really putting yourself and your family or your surroundings or your friends or your business or whatever it is, or relationship at risk. And they're the negative side of these things. So in the spirit of expansiveness, which is my 2022 word of the year that I've already started, kind of easing into here in December. I've always heard this story from others, and actually articulated it myself that I'm impatient, and I'm stubborn, and I'm loud. And the reality of the situation is, all of those things, when I flip them on their heads are actually really positive traits. Because I have never waited for the perfect time to do anything. Because I see the possibility, and I'm not willing to wait for it.
Paula Shepherd 02:58
And if that makes me impatient, will then I'll take it. And the idea of being stubborn, I see a vision. And if you're listening and nodding your head, I want an email from you to know that this is resonating. Stubborn might just mean to someone else that you have these big what seemed like big pie in the sky, crazy visions, crazy possibilities that they can't for themselves even begin to imagine. And you can't let go of them. Because you see the ability for them to come to life. And again, if that makes you stubborn to them, well, then you're stubborn, but I see you as a visionary. And the concept of being loud or being too loud, or using your inside voice, we've all been told that for gosh, probably our whole lives. And I'm always encouraging you to use your outside voice.
Paula Shepherd 04:05
The reason is, because no one can hear you. If you don't take a stand, no one can hear you. If you don't speak up, if you don't set those boundaries and those standards for yourself and communicate those well. So, you know, think about these negative things that other people may have said about you and how can you spend them to be a positive and recognise that you know, it's okay to be impatient, that it's okay to be stubborn and that it's okay to be loud or whatever other descriptor has come across in your life. And I'll give you a really, really great example of this and how this has come up in my life and really honestly created a lot of success in my business. because I've never waited for the perfect time,
Paula Shepherd 05:04
I've always been able to ask for the things that I need, because I wasn't willing to wait. And now a lot of people will step back and say, oh, gosh, okay, I want to work with that coach, I can't afford it right now. And I don't know, maybe maybe in a couple of months, maybe next year, Gosh, I really hope so we'll see when my business makes money. When this happens, if that happens, you know, there's always a reason and impetus that's going to lead us to that next thing. And for me, I just kind of always thought, well, how can I get myself one step closer to making that a reality, instead of saying, when I have the money to do this, then I'll just hand it all over. And so one of my first coaching experiences that I had with a business coach, I could not afford, in my mind, it was my first big investment.
Paula Shepherd 05:57
And I couldn't afford what she was charging. And it was a one time payment or a split pay. And so I asked if I could split that up over the course of into multiple chunks, right, and split that up. And the first thing that I did before I ever even knew where the rest of the money was gonna come from, was I asked if I could put a deposit down, because that made it real to me, that made it hey, I'm going to put down $500 today. And when I put that $500 down, I don't know exactly, I'm going to try to start in a month. And then I got so excited about the fact that I made this, put this initial deposit down, that it started to move me forward into that direction, right. So the fact that I was impatient, the fact that I had this vision, aka stubborn, the fact that I was able to be loud and use my voice to ask for what I needed.
Paula Shepherd 06:53
And what I wanted. Knowing that if I didn't ask the answer would always be No, I did it anyway. So all of those negatives in someone else's perspective, actually turned out to be really amazing traits that have helped propel my business forward. And I've seen this happen with so many of my clients to where they've stopped listening to the negative and they flip the switch, they flipped it all on its head. So, you know, I encourage you, as you're stepping into these last couple of weeks of 2021, getting ready for 2022, to think to yourself, how can I take those things that I've been told about myself, that I've shamed myself about and make them something really positive? How can I recognise that there's never the perfect time? How can I recognise that there's never a time that I should be silent? How can I recognise that I'm not, I'm not an ankle biter. I'm not a bull in a china shop that I really um, just a person with a really bold vision that's ready to take the steps forward, and letting go of the negative perspective around it.
Paula Shepherd 08:11
Because what's going to happen when you do this, is you're going to be able to flip everything on its head, you're going to be able to take that switch every single time and flip it, even if not right away, you're going to be able to create awareness and make it possible for you to do it. Because what you're going to find what a mentor just told us recently, and man, it really just it really just struck for me was, you know, if you are always saying, I'm going to wait. And this could be I'm going to wait to feel better about myself, I'm going to wait to have this perspective that you're talking about Paula, I'm going to wait to make that next investment or ask for the help that I need.
Paula Shepherd 08:57
Then, let's say you're always waiting three months, I'm waiting three months and waiting three months, I'm gonna wait three more months, and just wait a couple more months. If you were always waiting three months, after four years, you've actually spent an entire year of your life waiting. let that soak in. Yes. If you continue to wait three months.
Paula Shepherd 09:24
Over the course of four years, you will have spent a year of your life waiting. What are you waiting for? There's no better time than now. To recognise your strengths, to lean into them, to align with them to find a simpler way to build your business around your life so you can finally have that amazing relationship right to finally see yourself as the powerful, bold leader that you're becoming. Right there's no better time for you to start using your Voice to improve your communication, your connection with people to create that movement and social change that you've been longing for. So I hope that this episode has inspired you to really consider the things that you've always up until this point thought of as negatives and see them in a totally different light.
Paula Shepherd 10:27
Thank you for listening to this episode of confidence session. I know there are hundreds of 1000s of podcasts. And I'm so grateful that you chose to spend your time today with me. Head on over to be fearless with college.com forward slash podcast to check out the show notes from today's episode and grab links to all the amazing goodies mentioned today. Also, if you love this episode, as much as I love making it, make sure you don't miss any future ones by hitting the subscribe button right now. See you next time.